10/16/2013

The Death of Comcast (Short Story)

The Death of Comcast

He was examining his monthly bill, temper steadily rising. They've been overcharging him for the past year, so he stopped paying the bill. He was calling about the lack of service, and they still have him on hold. Again. When the finally give him somebody to talk to, a Spanish voice is heard on the other end of the receiver. When his phone hit the concrete wall, it shattered, falling to the ground.

He stood up with a force that toppled his chair. He knew what had to be done. From the trash, an empty jug of wine. An old rag. Gasoline. A lighter. He filled the jug with the gas and shoved the rag in as much as he could, leaving a fuse at the top. Taking this with him, he went out to his car. A thick puff of smoke spattered aggressively from the exhaust pipe when he started the engine. He sped away in his own cloud of smoke and dust.

His car pulled up to the headquarters. Engine still running, he threw it in park. The flick of a lighter is heard as he exits the vehicle, sprinting towards the large glass doors, holding a flaming molotov. He does not stop to open them. He straight ninja kicks through the window, screaming profanities. A loud explosion sends him flying right back out the door, perfectly alive. He lands on the roof of the still-running car, gets back in, and drives home to safety.

Now nobody gets to have internet, phone, or TV services.

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