12/28/2012

Chris Webby at Mulcaheys in Wantagh, NY 12/27/12


Last night Chris Webby played a show at Mulcaheys in Wantagh, NY. The original plan was to get really wasted and go see this guy rap for $15 with two of my friends. One of them decided he would rather hang out with his bitchy girlfriend than come to the concert with us. He missed out like crazy. This was one of the most ridiculous nights of my life.

The night started out with a blunt on my friend's winterized Boston Whaler. It's covered in shrink wrap but there's a hole big enough for people to climb inside back by the engine. It's been the spot ever since I've been home. The thing gets pretty baked out. If you have access to a boat like this, I recommend you climb under and bake it out.

After the blunt we went to a liquor store and picked up a bottle of Absolut Mango vodka. We went to McDonalds and proceeded to spike our drinks and start the drinking part of the night. We drank a lot. We snuck more liquor into the concert mixed with some Dr. Pepper and my friend got a wristband.


And here's where shit starts to get out of the ordinary. We were sitting outside in the smoking section drinking when my friend looks at the door to the kitchen.

"Next time that door opens we're going inside."

I didn't think he was actually going to do it. The door opened, he quickly finished his drink and make a dash for the door. I did the same and we ended up backstage. We went up the stairs and into a room and all of a sudden I'm 5 feet away from Chris Webby. His mom and dad were there too. My friend drunkenly sat down on his dad's guitar.

We must have stood out pretty fucking obviously because his friend came up to us and started grilling us. We acted like we knew Chris Webby and he came over and saved our asses by saying what's up to us as if we did know him. They eventually realized we were full of shit but didn't care. We chilled and drank for a little then I left my friend on the couch and went and approached Webby.

I told him to come down to Charleston and play a show. If he comes to Charleston, I am solely responsible. Then we tried to get him to hit a blunt with us. He said he didn't smoke before he goes on stage. At the time, he seemed like a huge bitch but this ended up being a lucky moment for us. We went and sat down to try and hit the blunt and realized we had a really shitty blunt. My friend rolled it in the car on the way there. He was also incredibly intoxicated at the time of the rollup so the blunt did not smoke. Actually, it basically exploded in his hand when he lit it.



The openers came back upstairs and it was announced that he's on in 1 minute. The openers both sucked a huge dick, by the way. Then the whole crew left the room and told us to take a different way out. They called us "the randoms". Naturally we ignored their orders and followed them into the basement. We explored the basement for a while until we ran into a security guard who escorted us outside and told us we were done.

After multiple different attempts at getting back inside, we finally succeeded. We hopped the fence in the backyard to get inside. I was too short to hop over the fence like a normal person so I had to jump on top of a car to get over the fence. I probably dented the shit out of the hood of the car. We made it back inside and into the crowd though and I got to see about half of Webby's set. It was pretty good judging from the blurred memory I have.

After watching a few songs I realized I was alone in the crowd and my friend was unaccounted for. I checked my phone to see a text from him.

"Yoo bavk stage again"

"hahahaha steal shit"

After sending that text I snuck off and went back upstairs. My friend was hiding in the bathroom. I found him and we dipped out through the gate in the fence that we hopped. Yeah, the fucking fence we hopped ended up having a gate. He escaped with some demo tapes and a bottle of cologne. We still had that shitty blunt from earlier.


I took this one when we were hiding in the corner of the basement.

I went to 7/11 and bought a dutch. I used my keys to split the blunt down the middle unconventionally and straight up wrapped it around the explosion of a blunt we already had. We sat in the corner of a parking garage smoking the ghetto blunt while waiting for my friend who ditched us for his girlfriend to pick us up and trying to figure out how we didn't get arrested.

We listened to the demo tapes on the way home and they seemed pretty shitty. If I find anything good on any of them I'm 100% going to leak it on here. The bottle of cologne did not make it out of the parking garage. May it rest in pieces on the ground.

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